


In Which Regina is Embarrassed by Her Evil Twin's Dance Moves

by tooshortforthis



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, Possibly OOC too, crackish, idk I wrote this after dark guys, it's probably trash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-03
Updated: 2016-10-03
Packaged: 2018-08-19 06:47:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8194273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tooshortforthis/pseuds/tooshortforthis
Summary: What if Emma had been there to see that awkward little dance and song the Evil Queen did at the docks? She definitely has something to say about it...





	

**Author's Note:**

> So this assumes that it's Classic flavored Emma in all her glory, and that she has accordingly ditched the pirate somewhere along the way. Everything else stays basically the same I guess... In all honesty, this concept was not given very much thought one way or the other.

Regina could only watch in horror as her evil counterpart disappeared into a violet plume of smoke. After what seemed like hours of staring at empty space, she jolted herself out of her trance to glance back at the people she now called family.

Snow and Charming wore identical looks, of course, of fear and concern. Henry was deep in thought, but the expression of his other mother, a woman Regina had come to call her friend, was the most disconcerting. Emma’s expression was changing rapidly between incredulity, horror, and amusement.

“Emma?” Her voice was embarrassingly scratchy to her own ears, and she winced in spite of herself.

“What the hell was that Regina?” Regina couldn’t help but roll her eyes, now was  _ not _ the time for obvious questions.

“The evil queen.” Regina snapped, “And  _ now _ is not a good time for your idiotic genomes to make an appearance.”

“I wasn’t asking about  _ that _ .” Emma replied with what was definitely more attitude than necessary. “I was talking about that ridiculous dance.”

“Why is  _ now _ the time to discuss this exactly?”

“Because the Big Bad Evil Queen, who  _ everyone _ is apparently terrified of, just did a  _ dance _ , and sang a little song like a five-year-old in a talent show, and I can not possibly take her seriously right now.” By the time Emma had finished her impromptu rant, her face was flushed and she had begun to look genuinely upset.

“Now that Ma mentions it…” Henry trailed off guiltily.

“Well how should I know?” Regina growled, “Just because she was a part of me once doesn’t mean I know her motives! Besides, why are we even wasting energy on this? It’s irrelevant!”

“Touchy.” Emma raised an eyebrow and shot Regina a knowing look. “But you’re probably right, we have bigger things to deal with than the Queen’s newfound  _ artistic voice _ .”

“ _ Thank _ you.” Regina huffed indignantly, that conversation had been completely unnecessary.  _ Honestly _ , It wasn’t like she could control her evil half. Not to mention it was embarrassing for  _ Emma _ , of all people, to call her out on it. It wasn’t her fault that the Dark Swan had managed to be intimidatingly beautiful,  _ and _ not do any embarrassing dance moves.

“Woah,” Emma he,d her hands up apologetically, “Sorry for bringing it up.” Regina couldn’t help but sniff and brush past her.

“You should be.”

“Regina!” Emma’s voice sounded behind her, but she kept going. She was going to salvage some of her dignity,  _ damnit _ .

She only stopped when she felt Emma’s hand on her arm. “You look like you could use a drink.” She gave Regina a soft smile that made her feel embarrassingly tingly inside.

“Thank you.” She couldn’t help a small smile of her own. Emma’s grin only widened.

“What are drinking buddies for?” There was a pleasant beat of silence before Emma called over her shoulder to Snow, who had already started towards them.

“Hey mom, would you and Dad mind watching Henry tonight?”

“Of course sweetie.” Snow looked mildly concerned, but apparently knew when a battle was lost. “Make good decisions!” She called towards Emma, who had already started towards her car. Emma’s cackle was her only response.

In the car, Regina turned to look at Emma in the driver’s seat. “Was that really necessary? Your mother probably thinks that we’re going to go light the cruiser on fire.”

“Well it’s crashed anyway…” Regina smacked Emma’s arm, hard.

“That’s not funny.”

Emma’s pout was unbearably cute. “Well  _ I _ thought it was hilarious.”

“Not all of us have the sense of humor of a heathen.” Regina replied, before they allowed the conversation to lull. Regina attempted to focus on whatever nefarious plot her counterpart was working on, but her thoughts kept coming back to the Queen’s newest dance routine.

They were in her study, halfway through a second glass of cider when Regina finally gathered the courage to bring it up.

“Did you ever... do something like that as the Dark One?”

“Like what?” Regina felt a flush of anger at being forced to say it, until she looked at her friend’s expression, which was that of genuine confusion. Duh Regina, she mentally facepalmed, she can’t read minds. She mentally facepalmed again, she really was a strangely introspective drunk.

“Like the,” Regina cleared her throat, flushing redder than she had previously thought possible. “Like the dancing.”

“Ooooooooh.” Emma giggled to herself. “So that’s what’s been bothering you all night.” She had another laugh at Regina’s expense before replying.

“No, I never did anything like  _ that _ . Besides,” Emma tilted her head cockily, “I would’ve done a  _ much _ sexier dance.”

“Prove it.” If either of them had been closer to sober, that would probably be as far as it would’ve gone, but they were both _very_ tipsy, and Emma was never one to turn down a challenge.  
As such, Regina got the first lap dance of her life. Not that it lasted very long anyway. Regina would proudly claim later that she had lasted an entire five minutes before she kissed Emma. After which Emma, if she was within earshot, would snort and tell her that no, even the great Regina Mills could only withstand the seductive powers of Emma Swan for two minutes.

They did eventually defeat the Evil Queen, although an explanation for the dancing was never given, and continued the same argument for another fifty or so years, until they finally compromised on three and a half minutes.


End file.
